Ephesians 3:19- “…and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.”
Y’all. God is so good! Just in these past few weeks since my last blog He has done so much! In me, to me, and through me. I am just now beginning to realize the incredible way He is working everything in my life for His glory and my blessing.
A few weeks ago I went to a Bethel concert. Although I was completely stoked about this opportunity, I had no idea how this night would change me forever. First of all, I was given a free ticket, when I originally wasn’t going to be able to go. I knew in my heart that the Lord had something great in store for me to receive there (He always does). And although I could write pages and pages of what the Lord showed me at Bethel; I will have to condense it down to this: God told me that He was doing a work in my life. A good work. He was taking everything old and filled with the stain of the world and replacing them with His plans for me, which were new and holy and good. Right away, this resonated within my soul, and I was filled with Joy! But the biggest thing that God did at Bethel didn’t happen at Bethel. Well, I’m sure it did; but I didn’t begin to realize or see it’s effect until the next day, even several days later. Yes, God is bringing new things into my life out of the old; and I am thrilled to see this begin falling into place. But what happened that night is that He FILLED me. God filled me, in a way that I have never experienced before. I left that night with a fullness that I am only now beginning to unpack and it is absolutely beautiful.
Now, you may be thinking that this is just another “Jesus High” experience. And believe me, I was too. I have been to just as many church camp experiences as the next guy, and each one of them has been incredible- touching my heart in a unique way. But this was different. This wasn’t a temporary Spirit High that would slowly fade out. No; this was a physical filling of God into my soul that I can’t begin to explain if I tried. It consumes me into overflow that I can’t help but to pour out. It seeps into and out of everything that I do, say, breathe, and think. And I’m still in shock. “Why hasn’t this worn off by now?” “When will my spirit-high go back down?” “What even happened??” And although I can’t understand it, I believe it. That night changed me. Well, Jesus changed me. And the result is one that I will never forget.
I am full. So full. Full of love to give even when nobody shows love to me. Full of worship to pour out endlessly in praises at His feet. Full of hope for the future, and peace for today. Full of joy. Full of Him. I am constantly seeing His face in all that I do. Every day He pours out endless blessings on me that I could never deserve. Of course, I still have hard times and bad days. But the difference now is that even on my worst days, I view everything through a place of joy- with an eternal perspective. Knowing that this day; even this life, is temporary and doesn’t hold any comparison to the glorious perfection of eternity. Even when I am low, I don’t stay there because I’m quickly reminded of how beautiful He is, and how greatly He guides my life.
My sister recently came home from her trip around the world and it has been such a huge blessing! His mercies never cease to amaze me. At the beginning of this year the Lord gave me a word that this year would be one of “Joy and Promise” both for me and for the community around me. I held onto it, but never fully began to see the meaning of it until now. Not only am I filled with an eternal joy that isn’t determined by emotions or circumstances or people; but I now have come to a deeper understanding of the promises He has given and how He is fulfilling them through each passing day. Not only future promises, but present ones. Big and small. I am living them out and walking in them in ways I never could have imagined. He has promised comfort and proven to be a comfort to me. He promised peace and gave me His spirit. He promised restoration in relationships and I am already beginning to see the fruit of that- watching pieces fall into place in ways that only He could orchestrate. He has given me vivid dreams and visions of a future that has already been designed; and allows me to place my hope in His faithfulness to construct it. This is only the beginning of all that’s to come. I have so much anticipation for this next season He has called me to. I hold an expectancy and excitement that is simply unexplainable, and I know without the slightest doubt that God has big big things in store for me! I KNOW He will move. He already has! And it is simply incredible to live in this place.
On top of this (yes, there’s more!) I have been in a completely and totally divine romance. God has opened my eyes to the most beautiful pursuit of all: His deep pursuit of the depths of my heart. His total pursuit of me. Intimacy in its truest form. He is romancing me in the purest way possible, and every day I am more and more aware of it. How He chases my heart. How He pours all of Himself out to me and asks that I do the same. How He lavishes blessing upon blessing upon me- More than I can contain. How my heart wants nothing else but just absolutely more of Him. I am my true self, and He loves me just like that. It’s the kind of romance where your lover is all you can think about, all you can smile about, all you can talk about. I feel like a princess because I AM HIS BRIDE. And I have never understood this so fully. It is a love that no matter what kind of day I have, what my week has been like, or what problems I’ve been dealing with, He is constant. And my heart is stilled. Nothing can shake me because my spirit is set. My focus is on Him and nothing else can compare. All the things that fight for my attention are thrown out and forgotten when I look upon His face. Fears that used to consume my thoughts are suddenly a fleeting vapor in my mind that fade quickly into memory. I can’t explain it. I barely understand it. But God is romancing my heart in the absolute realest way.
I am reading this book by Lysa TerKeurst called Uninvited. And let me tell you; It is incredible. I recommend it for any woman wanting to live a life of fullness; which is probably all of us. There is a quote that says, “We have to tell our minds to live loved.” At first, I didn’t see what this meant. ‘How could I do this, what did it look like?’ But now I am seeing; Living loved isn’t just for someone who is dating or engaged or married to the most incredible man in the world. No. Living loved is living your whole life from the position that God is love and He is in love with you. All of you. Not just the pretty pieces or the exciting things. He made you. He knows you. And He loves you. When I start to realize this is when I can walk each day in confidence and joy no matter what life throws at me. I can fully trust in ALL that He has promised to me, even when the fulfillment of it seems impossible. And I can constantly have joy and love towards others, although I may never feel loved from them in return. When you are in love, nothing else matters. You have eyes for one man only. And that is what this is; The ultimate romance, the deepest intimacy, the truest love. Jesus’ pursuit of your heart will be the greatest love you will ever know. Hold to it, cherish it, press into it. It will change your life. You will see His blessings in every day. You will know who you are and will learn to love yourself, despite what the world may say. You will live loved through every moment of every day and nothing can shake you. You will rest in all of His promises because they are true.
A good song that I have been dwelling on lately is called Your Promises by Elevation. The best line is one that goes:
“Doesn’t matter what I feel * Doesn’t matter what I see * My hope will always be in your Promises to Me.”
And that’s the reality. His promises are ALWAYS true; no matter how messed up everything is, nothing can keep Him from coming through and being faithful.
Lysa said something else that completely described everything I have been saying.
“People do affect us. But the peace of our souls is tethered to all that God is… the fact that God will work everything for good is a completely predictable promise.”
– Yes, girl, yes.